What Sikh teachings say
Gurbani speaks honestly about suffering. Joy and sorrow, it says, are two garments given at the Divine door that every human being comes to wear. Illness, loss, failure and fear are part of every life; they are not a sign that someone has been abandoned or is being punished. Sikhi asks us to meet them with courage and trust rather than blame.
Accepting Hukam — the Divine order — does not mean giving up or pretending to feel fine. It means doing everything we reasonably can, including seeking proper medical and professional help, while placing the outcome in the Divine's hands. Ardas is a way of bringing our pain, hopes and gratitude before the Guru, and of asking for strength to live in Chardi Kala (rising spirit).
The Sikh Rehat Maryada does not prescribe any special ritual for illness or hardship. What Sikhi offers is Naam, Ardas and Sangat: remembering the Divine, praying honestly, and being supported by — and supporting — others. Visiting the sick, sharing meals, listening without judgement and doing practical seva are themselves expressions of the Guru's teachings.
Spiritual support complements — but never replaces — medical, psychological or professional care. If you or someone you know is unwell, please see a qualified doctor or health professional. If anyone is in danger or at risk of harming themselves, contact local emergency services or a crisis helpline immediately.
The practice — Ardas, Simran and Sangat
Anyone can offer Ardas at any time, at home, in hospital or at the Gurdwara, for themselves or for someone else. Families often ask the Gurdwara to include a loved one's name in the congregational Ardas, and friends may gather to recite Sukhmani Sahib or listen to kirtan together.
Simran — quietly repeating "Waheguru" or listening to Gurbani — can bring calm during anxious waiting, treatment or sleepless nights. It works alongside medical care, rest and practical help, not instead of them.
The Sangat has a vital role: bringing food, helping with children or transport, sitting with someone who is grieving, and checking in over the following weeks and months when others may have moved on.
What the Sikh Rehat Maryada says
The Sikh Rehat Maryada is the Panth’s code of conduct, published by the SGPC. Points below summarise it in plain language; consult the official text for exact wording.
The Sikh Rehat Maryada does not prescribe a specific ceremony for this stage of life; the guidance above comes from Gurbani and the Sikh way of life.
Regional & family customs
These practices vary by region and family. They are not religious requirements — families may follow, adapt or set them aside.
- Holding a Sukhmani Sahib or Akhand Paath for someone who is unwell — a devotional choice many families make, not a requirement.
- Asking the Gurdwara to include a name in the Ardas — a common practice that varies by Gurdwara.
- Fasting or making vows to secure a particular outcome — practised in some wider cultural settings, but Gurbani questions fasting and bargaining vows undertaken as ritual; Sikh devotion rests on Naam and Ardas instead.
- Wearing threads or amulets, or consulting astrologers for protection — found in some communities, but not part of Sikh practice and discouraged by Sikh teachings.
What families can do
- Encourage and support the person to get proper medical, psychological or professional help early — and help with appointments or transport.
- Offer Ardas together, and keep kirtan or simran gently available without forcing it.
- Visit, call or message regularly; practical help such as meals and childcare is often worth more than advice.
- Listen without judgement. Avoid telling someone their suffering is their fault or a punishment.
- Look after carers too — they also need rest, Sangat and support.
- If you are worried someone may be at risk of harming themselves, contact local emergency or crisis services straight away and stay with them.
Relevant Gurbani
ਸੁਖੁ ਦੁਖੁ ਦੁਇ ਦਰਿ ਕਪੜੇ ਪਹਿਰਹਿ ਜਾਇ ਮਨੁਖ ॥
Sukh dukh due dar kaparre pahireh jaae manukh.
Joy and sorrow are two garments given at the Divine door; human beings come and wear them.
ਸੁਖ ਅਤੇ ਦੁੱਖ ਰੱਬੀ ਦਰ ਤੋਂ ਮਿਲੇ ਦੋ ਕੱਪੜੇ ਹਨ; ਮਨੁੱਖ ਆ ਕੇ ਇਨ੍ਹਾਂ ਨੂੰ ਪਹਿਨਦੇ ਹਨ।
Joy and sorrow come to everyone; neither defines our worth.
ਕਾਹੇ ਰੇ ਮਨ ਚਿਤਵਹਿ ਉਦਮੁ ਜਾ ਆਹਰਿ ਹਰਿ ਜੀਉ ਪਰਿਆ ॥
Kaahe re man chitaveh udam jaa aahar har jeeo pariaa.
O mind, why are you consumed with anxious scheming, when the Divine is already taking care of you?
ਹੇ ਮਨ, ਤੂੰ ਚਿੰਤਾ ਭਰੀਆਂ ਸਕੀਮਾਂ ਵਿੱਚ ਕਿਉਂ ਡੁੱਬਿਆ ਰਹਿੰਦਾ ਹੈਂ, ਜਦੋਂ ਰੱਬ ਪਹਿਲਾਂ ਹੀ ਤੇਰਾ ਖ਼ਿਆਲ ਰੱਖ ਰਿਹਾ ਹੈ?
Gently addresses an anxious mind, inviting trust in the Divine's care.
ਤੂ ਠਾਕੁਰੁ ਤੁਮ ਪਹਿ ਅਰਦਾਸਿ ॥ ਜੀਉ ਪਿੰਡੁ ਸਭੁ ਤੇਰੀ ਰਾਸਿ ॥
Too thaakur tum peh ardaas. Jeeo pind sabh teree raas.
You are the Master; to You I offer my prayer. This body and soul are all Your gift.
ਤੂੰ ਮਾਲਕ ਹੈਂ; ਤੇਰੇ ਅੱਗੇ ਮੇਰੀ ਅਰਦਾਸ ਹੈ। ਇਹ ਸਰੀਰ ਅਤੇ ਜਿੰਦ ਸਭ ਤੇਰੀ ਦਾਤ ਹਨ।
A line from which Ardas is often understood: humbly placing every need before the Divine.
Common questions
Does accepting Hukam mean I should not seek treatment?
No. Sikhi encourages using every good means available, including medicine, therapy and professional support. Accepting Hukam is about the attitude with which we face what happens, not about refusing help.
Is illness a punishment for past actions?
Sikhi does not ask us to blame the sick. Gurbani teaches that joy and sorrow come to all, and that suffering can deepen remembrance. Compassion, not judgement, is the Sikh response.
What can I say to someone who is grieving?
Simple words are often best: that you are sorry, that you are there, and that you will help. Offering to do Ardas together, or just sitting with them, can mean a great deal.
Is it wrong to feel angry or lost?
No. Many people feel anger, doubt or numbness in hard times. Bringing those feelings honestly into Ardas, and talking with trusted people or professionals, is part of healing.
Sources & further reading
- Sikh Rehat Maryada, SGPC
- Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 149
- Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 10