What Sikh teachings say
Anand Karaj means "ceremony of bliss". In Sikhi, marriage is a spiritual partnership of equals, entered into in the presence of Guru Granth Sahib Ji. Gurbani says that those who merely sit together are not truly husband and wife; they are truly married when they are one light in two bodies. Marriage is meant to help both partners grow closer to the Divine and to each other.
The four Laavan, composed by Guru Ram Das Ji, describe stages of the soul's journey towards union with the Divine. Traditional commentaries explain that the first Laav speaks of taking up the duties of family life guided by the Guru's word; the second of love and reverence growing; the third of detachment from worldly pride and joy in the Sangat; and the fourth of peace and poise as the Divine is found within.
Sikh teachings place both partners on an equal footing. Gurbani rejects treating women as lesser, and a marriage should be entered freely by both people. Sikhi rejects caste as a basis for marriage, and the Sikh Rehat Maryada discourages dowry demands and showy display. Everything beyond the Anand Karaj itself — however loved — is custom, not requirement.
Anand Karaj — the wedding ceremony
The couple sit before Guru Granth Sahib Ji, usually in the morning, in the presence of family and Sangat. After kirtan and an Ardas seeking the Guru's blessing, a Hukam is taken. Many Gurdwaras also offer a short explanation of the duties of married life.
The four Laavan from Guru Ram Das Ji's Bani in Raag Suhi are then read one at a time. After each Laav is read, it is sung by the ragis while the couple walk slowly around Guru Granth Sahib Ji, the groom leading and the bride following, often each holding one end of a palla (scarf). Four readings, four rounds.
The ceremony concludes with the recitation of the first five pauris and the last pauri of Anand Sahib, an Ardas, and the distribution of Karah Prashad. Nothing else is needed to complete a Sikh marriage — no horoscopes, no fire ceremony, no exchange of vows beyond what the Laavan themselves express.
What the Sikh Rehat Maryada says
The Sikh Rehat Maryada is the Panth’s code of conduct, published by the SGPC. Points below summarise it in plain language; consult the official text for exact wording.
- The Sikh Rehat Maryada states that a Sikh's marriage should take place without consideration of caste, and that both partners should be Sikh.
- It states that children should not be married; marriage is for those who have reached a suitable age.
- It asks that horoscopes and "auspicious" days not be consulted in fixing the marriage.
- It discourages making the marriage an occasion for demands such as dowry, or for ostentatious display, and says no one should accept money in return for a daughter's marriage.
- The four Laavan are read and sung while the couple walk around Guru Granth Sahib Ji, followed by Anand Sahib (six pauris), Ardas and Karah Prashad.
- It permits a widow or widower to remarry if they wish, with the same Anand Karaj ceremony.
Regional & family customs
These practices vary by region and family. They are not religious requirements — families may follow, adapt or set them aside.
- Roka or thaka and kurmai (engagement) — family gatherings to confirm the match; widely practised, not required by the Sikh Rehat Maryada.
- Chunni chadhana — placing a chunni on the bride's head by the groom's family; a regional custom.
- Maiyan / vatna, mehndi and jaggo — pre-wedding family celebrations that vary by region and family.
- Sehra, sarbala and arriving on a ghodi — groom's customs; some families keep them, others choose not to.
- Milni — the formal meeting of the two families' relatives before the ceremony; a social custom.
- Doli / vidaigi — the bride's farewell from her family home; an emotional custom, not part of the Anand Karaj.
What families can do
- Make sure both people are freely choosing the marriage, and listen carefully to each of them.
- Read and discuss the meaning of the four Laavan together before the wedding day.
- Speak with the Gurdwara early about timings, and ask for any local guidance on dress and conduct during the ceremony.
- Keep celebrations within your means; refuse and discourage any talk of dowry or demands.
- Plan together how you will share household work, money decisions and care for parents and children as equal partners.
- Make Gurbani and Sangat part of married life after the wedding — for example an evening Rehras Sahib together.
Relevant Gurbani
ਹਰਿ ਪਹਿਲੜੀ ਲਾਵ ਪਰਵਿਰਤੀ ਕਰਮ ਦ੍ਰਿੜਾਇਆ ਬਲਿ ਰਾਮ ਜੀਉ ॥
Har pahilarree laav paravirtee karam drirraaiaa bal raam jeeo.
In the first round of the wedding, the Divine instructs you to take up the duties of family life.
ਵਿਆਹ ਦੀ ਪਹਿਲੀ ਲਾਂਵ ਵਿੱਚ ਰੱਬ ਤੁਹਾਨੂੰ ਗ੍ਰਿਹਸਤ ਜੀਵਨ ਦੀਆਂ ਜ਼ਿੰਮੇਵਾਰੀਆਂ ਸੰਭਾਲਣ ਦਾ ਉਪਦੇਸ਼ ਦਿੰਦਾ ਹੈ।
The opening of the first Laav, which speaks of taking up the duties of family life.
ਧਨ ਪਿਰੁ ਏਹਿ ਨ ਆਖੀਅਨਿ ਬਹਨਿ ਇਕਠੇ ਹੋਇ ॥ ਏਕ ਜੋਤਿ ਦੁਇ ਮੂਰਤੀ ਧਨ ਪਿਰੁ ਕਹੀਐ ਸੋਇ ॥੩॥
Dhan pir ehi na aakheeani behan ikathe hoe. Ek jot due moortee dhan pir kaheeai soe.
They are not called husband and wife who merely sit together. Only those who are one light in two bodies are truly called husband and wife.
ਉਹ ਪਤੀ-ਪਤਨੀ ਨਹੀਂ ਕਹੇ ਜਾਂਦੇ ਜੋ ਸਿਰਫ਼ ਇਕੱਠੇ ਬੈਠਦੇ ਹਨ। ਅਸਲ ਵਿੱਚ ਪਤੀ-ਪਤਨੀ ਉਹੀ ਹਨ ਜੋ ਦੋ ਸਰੀਰਾਂ ਵਿੱਚ ਇੱਕ ਜੋਤ ਹਨ।
The Sikh understanding of marriage: one light in two bodies.
ਸੋ ਕਿਉ ਮੰਦਾ ਆਖੀਐ ਜਿਤੁ ਜੰਮਹਿ ਰਾਜਾਨ ॥
So kiu mandaa aakheeai jit janmeh raajaan.
Why call her lesser, from whom even kings are born?
ਉਸ ਨੂੰ ਮਾੜਾ ਕਿਉਂ ਆਖੀਏ, ਜਿਸ ਤੋਂ ਰਾਜੇ ਵੀ ਜਨਮ ਲੈਂਦੇ ਹਨ?
Underlines the equal dignity of women, central to the Sikh view of marriage.
Common questions
Is the Anand Karaj complete without the engagement and other functions?
Yes. The Anand Karaj before Guru Granth Sahib Ji is what makes a Sikh marriage. Roka, milni, mehndi and similar functions are family and regional customs.
Can a wedding be held on any day?
Yes. The Sikh Rehat Maryada asks that auspicious days and horoscopes not be consulted. Practical factors such as the Gurdwara's timetable decide the date.
Does the bride have to walk behind the groom?
In the usual practice the groom leads during the Laavan, which traditional commentaries relate to the soul following the Guru rather than one partner being above the other. Sikh teachings hold both partners as equals.
What about marriages where one partner is not Sikh?
The Sikh Rehat Maryada states that both partners should be Sikh for the Anand Karaj. Gurdwaras and families handle such situations in different ways; it is best to speak with your local Gurdwara early and respectfully.
Sources & further reading
- Sikh Rehat Maryada, SGPC
- Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 773–774
- Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 788